How to Become Calm

The idea begins with this premise:

Everything that is not “me” is part of the environment.

Humans, governments, religions, companies, rain, rocks, trees, the economy, atoms, or even an idea… all of them are objects within the environment. Each object has its own properties.

For example:

• Rain has the property of making things wet.
• Fire has the property of being hot.
• A person has properties related to personality, thoughts, and behavior.
• An organization has properties related to how it operates.
• An idea also has its own properties. For instance, this idea has a very special property: it makes me calm and feel better almost instantly.

When I encounter something I dislike, instead of asking:

“Why is it like this? It shouldn’t be like this.”

I only ask two questions:

1. Can I change this property?
2. If I can, is changing it worth the effort?

If the answer is yes, I act.

If the answer is no, I adapt.

Adapting does not mean joining in or going along with something bad. It can mean despising it while still accepting the fact that it is an existing property in the environment. Just like accepting that the atmosphere contains nitrogen.

The strange thing is that when I look at the world this way, a lot of anger disappears on its own. I no longer waste energy fighting reality in my head. Instead, I spend that energy understanding the environment and choosing the most appropriate response.

“If I do not get angry at the properties of weather or nature, then there is no reason for me to get angry at the properties of a person or a group of people.”

This is a very powerful thinking tool. It helps me become calmer almost instantly in every situation.

Lựu Hoàng Điệp